When Scorpians Strike
by Echoes of the Mind
Summary: A buffy crossover that is a little unussual. Buffy and the gang team up with some new friends to stop a great evil. Angel does not make an apperence. Please r
1. Falling.

When Scorpions Strike  
  
Hello. This is my first Farscape fanfic, my second fanfic overall. This story is not what you would call normal. Sure many people write crossovers, but this is an idea so strange, I'm almost positive that no one would ever think to copy it, or have done it before. This story crosses Buffy the Vampire Slayer with (believe it or not) Farscape. These are not the two most likely things too meet, but I got the story idea while at work and decided to roll with it. If it gets good response, I already have an idea for a sequel. Just so this makes some kind of sense, the story takes place not long after Glory tortures Spike but before she makes Tara go crazy. On the Farscape front, it's somewhere between when Talon and Moya reunite, and their departure. Now for the usual stuff. I don't own either Buffy or Farscape. If I did, I would be so freaking rich, I wouldn't bother talking to you people. But I don't own them and I'm poor. Plus I need the companionship. Please talk to me! Now on with the show.  
  
The cemetery is dark as the chosen one stealthily cruises through. As always, she is not alone. Behind her you can see two lovers whispering into each other's ears. It has been a rather uneventful night so far on the Hellmouth. They have dusted only two vamps and that has Buffy worried. Whenever things get quite in Sunnydale, there is either some horrible apocalypse, or some terrible demon that decides to rear its undoubtedly ugly head. They continue onward until they hear a strange whistling noise.  
"You hear that?" asks Buffy. "We're sorry Buff," replies Xander. "We'll try to keep it down." "Not you. Don't you hear that whistling sound?" she asks.  
Just then, two fiery, burning objects fall from the sky. One lands not too far away in the park, the other drops out of site.   
"Now that's not some thing you see every day," says Xander.   
They quickly ran off toward the fiery object that fell closest to them. As they drew near, they heard strange voices. There are four figures standing there next to the smoking object. They cautiously approach the scene as quietly as they can. As they get even closer they can make out the figures. Two of them looked human, but on the Hellmouth, that means nothing. One of them would have passed for human if it weren't for one thing, she was gray. The finale member of their group was humanoid, but had tentacles coming out the back of his head. He had a pronounced brow, and an elongated chin. The scoobs could make out bits and pieces of their conversation. The one that looked like a demon was very angry. He was shouting into a small metal device on his chest. He was speaking in some language that even Anya couldn't identify. When he finished speaking, another strange voice comes out of the device. It is also impossible to understand. The human looking man speaks up. "Pilot, do you know how we can get back?" he asks. More gibberish comes out of the device. He then replies, "I think we're on Earth. By the surroundings and the coast, probably California. I can't believe I'm home. Do you know what happened to Scorpi?" he said. Once more gibberish comes as a response. He looks concerned. The Human looking woman says something in a strange sounding language. Again, undecipherable words come back. The man speaks again, "How long till Moya can get here?" Suddenly, Anya sneezes. All four of the beings turn to look in their direction. The demon-looking thing draws a sword, while the others pull out weird looking guns. Buffy and Xander turn to stare at Anya. "Sorry, I'm still having trouble with mortal functions," Anya whispers. The demon-like creature speaks in its strange language at the gang. "Huh?" says Xander in his usual befuddled tone. The human looking man quickly jumps up and screams out, "I'll be right back." He then runs back into the strange smoking object. He soon returns with a small yellow beetle looking thing. He then turns to the demon looking one and says, "You thought I lost it when I said we should bring a DRD along. Who's laughing now?" He then quickly runs up to Buffy and the DRD pricks her with a needle. "Ow!" She Punches him in the chest and he falls down. "Ow!" he echoes her as he hits the ground. "Why did you do that?" he asks. "You stabbed me with a weird needle. Oh god it wasn't infected was it?" she says worriedly. "Don't worry," the human looking woman says. "It just gave you translator microbes. They allow you to understand other languages." " Cool. Who needs French class?" she replies. Xander gives her weird look. "You can understand them? How?" Just as he finishes that sentence, the DRD injects the microbes. "Ow!" It then moves on to Anya. It pricks her and she kicks it away. "Ow! Now was that really necessary?" she asks. "Yes it was," says the large demon like creature. "Don't mind him," said the human looking man, "He always acts like this. I'm John Crichton. Mister personality is Ka D'Argo. The gray chick is Chiana. Then the tough girl is Aeryn Sun. Don't worry, I'm from Earth. God it's good to be back. Been gone for almost three cycles." Buffy gives him a questionable look. "Three cycles? What do you mean?" "Oh yeah," Says Crichton, "I forgot about the difference in terms here. I've been lost for three years. I have missed home so badly." "Ok," says Xander. "So if you're Dorothy, who's the tin man and the scarecrow?" D'Argo gives him an angry glare and says, "I was afraid of this. It's a planet full of Crichtons." "You always know how to compliment me don't you," Crichton says with heavy sarcasm. "Excuse me!" screams Buffy, "But mind telling me what this smoking heap is and what you're doing here with a group of demons?" "Demons?" asks Aeryn. "What do you mean by demons?" "Well," Anya starts. "You certainly aren't all human. I should know. I wasn't human for over a millennia." Crichton gives them a weird look. "They are aliens. Come on. I may have been gone for awhile, but I still know that there are no such things as demons." As he says this, two vampires run at them. One goes straight for Crichton, the other for Aeryn. D'Argo quickly fires a blast at one with his Qualta Blade. It throws the vamp back a few feet, but past that, it doesn't faze him. Aeryn is holding her own with some strange kind of martial arts. John is trying to punch the other out, but isn't as successful. D'Argo comes over and lifts the vampire off Crichton. The vamp quickly kicks D'Argo in the chest. He losses his grip and drops the vamp. He growls out of surprise at the creature's strength. Buffy quickly runs over to Crichton and punches the vamp off of him. She then gives it a nice three-punch combo, and then she does a leg sweep, causing the vampire to fall down. She then swiftly rams the stake into the undead heart, dusting him. She turns toward D'Argo and yells, "Cut off it's head!" He reacts quickly and decapitates the vampire, who then turns to dust.  
"What the frell were those things?!" screams D'Argo. Crichton has a worried look on his face. "I think I know, but it's just too weird to even consider," he says. "Weirder than aliens?" says Xander. "I think not. Those were vampires. They are one of your more common demons. They're like roaches, they pop up every where."   
As Xander finishes saying this, they all hear an audible growl coming from the bushes. D'Argo and Aeryn carefully walk towards the source of the sound. As they reach it, a hand pops out and punches D'Argo right in the face. As D'Argo falls back to the ground, a figure in a long black coat jumps out of the cover of darkness and hits Chiana as well. Aeryn and Crichton shoot at it repeatedly. Buffy then quickly runs over to them and screams out, "Stop! He's..well, not a friend exactly, but he's on our side." The figure slowly gets up and very angrily says, "You bloody idiots could have killed me. Okay, killed me again," Spike yells at them. He turns toward Buffy. "Why you hanging around these demons? Thought you usually killed those types." Buffy gives him a look that is somewhere between you're-lucky-I-don't-kill-you-where-you-stand and complete anger.   
"What are you doing here Spike? After the robot incident, I thought you might have learned your lesson." Spike looks hurt. "Come on now pet, you know I won't give up on you. Besides, there was this massive explosion." He then turns to the new group as if just noticing them. "Who are they?" he asks with a mixture of curiosity and bitterness. Anya perks up a bit and says, "They are aliens, but not the kind that come out of your chest and spit acid at you, at least I don't think they spit acid. You don't spit acid do you?" Aeryn gets a very annoyed at this. " D'Argo was wrong. Some of these people are worse than Crichton." John gets an offended look on his face. "Hey! I'm one of the best that Earth has too offer." "And that's what has always scared us. Now we know it was justified," says D'Argo with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Suddenly realization dawns on Buffy. "Hey, what was that second fire ball?" Crichton gets a very worried expression. "Not him. Not here." "What do you mean not him? Who's him?" asks Buffy with great curiosity. Chiana finally steps up and speaks. "He means Scorpius. He's a crazed Peacekeeper scientist who is determined to get information on wormholes out of Crichtons' brain. He's willing to do anything in order to get at it. Many have died at his hands." Xander starts to panic. "Not another horrible evil. We already have one to deal with! Why can't you just keep yours? I mean, we get a new one every other week!" Anya quickly smacks him across the face. "Ow!" screams Xander. "What was that for?" "You were panicking. It was distracting. Not only that, but you were embarrassing me in front of the otherworldly creatures. They seem nice." "Thanks," Chiana replies. "Sure, that makes me feel better. I'm sure the pain in my face will just melt away," Xander says. I have no idea what's going on here," says Buffy, "but I think we should let Giles know about it. We should all go to the Magic Box and see if he can make sense of this." D'Argo gets somewhat defensive. He quickly turns toward Crichton and asks, "Do you think we should trust them?" Crichton gets a questioning look on his face. "Why you asking me?" He responds. "Simple," says D'Argo (who is somewhat annoyed), "These are your people. It would make sense that you would have a better sense on weather or not to trust them." Crichton thinks it over for a moment. "I guess you're right. I say we go with. It's better than being lost and having demons attack you." Buffy gives a small smile. "Alright then. Lets get going. Oh, and try to stay out of sight." "Why should we do that?" D'Argo asks angrily. "Well, for one thing, you are a seven foot tall demon. That might be a little attention grabbing. Lets go."   
  
And with that, they head off to see Giles. Will the Moya crew trust the scoobies? What horror will Scorpius try to inflict on the people of Earth? Why am I writing this story? Hopefully some of these questions will be answered in the next chapter, When Scorpions Strike. PART 2 Magick and Science Don't Mix.   



	2. Magick and Science Don't Mix

When Scorpions Strike  
Part 2  
Magick and Science Don't Mix  
  
Hello once more. I would like to apologize to all of you out there that have been waiting for this to come out. I am pretty lazy, but I'm doing my best to juggle this, work, and school. I think I'm doing ok. I'm only mentioning this because I believe that both this story and the sequel I have in mind (I do plan on writing it) will take awhile to get out. The sequel gives an answer to a question that will be answered in the premiere. No I don't mean how she was brought back. Sorry I got off track. As usual, I don't own either Buffy or Farscape. I wish I did, but of course my life sucks on so many levels. Let's get into this then.  
  
Giles was pacing the length of the Magic Box. He had seen the fireballs fall down towards the park and, knowing the Hellmouth, Buffy was close to where it happened. He was worried sick, but he couldn't go out and look for her. He knew if something important happened, she would come here first. Not only that, but he had sent Spike to look for her. Willow wasn't much better. Giles wouldn't let her leave because they had too much research to do on Glory. Plus Dawn was there waiting for her sisters return. Willow was the next best thing to a Slayer to protect Dawn. Tara was also spooked. Things had been getting real tense lately. She cared so deeply for Willow, and it was because of that relationship that she cared for Buffy (but like a friend). She still felt like somewhat of an outsider. Sure, they tried to bring her more into the group, but she still felt somewhat left out. That was beginning to put a strain on her and Willows' relationship. Giles was just about to give up and go out looking himself when Buffy came in the door.  
"Where have you been?" Giles asked a little to franticly. "Sorry," Buffy said with a little bit of surprise. "We had an interesting night." As she said this, Xander and Anya came in the door. Giles gets a disgusted look on his face. "They didn't try and have sex in the park again did they?" Xander turns a dark shade of red and mumbles something about experimentation. "No," Buffy says. "Even creepier." With those words, Crichton and company enters the shop. The moment D'Argo and Chiana come into view, Giles panics. He runs over to the counter and pulls out the battle-ax he keeps there as a precaution. Willow quickly starts a protection spell for Dawn and telekinetically, throws D'Argo across the room. He lands with a grunt and draw his Qualta Blade. Crichton and Buffy both run in between the two groups before more damage can be done. "It's ok," Buffy said with a hint of urgency in her voice. "They're with us."   
At that moment Spike comes in the door. "See you already met the guys." He walks over to the table and light s up a cigarette. "Hope you have more luck understanding them than I did. Bloody gibberish." With that Crichton smiles. Chiana gets an amused look on her face. John turns toward the door and whistles. The DRD quickly scuttles into the shop. Giles looks at it with mild curiosity. "What is that?" Aeryn looks at him and starts to speak. Giles just stares at her. "What the bloody hell did she just say?" Crichton smiles a little. "Another brit. Man it's great to be home. Sorry. It's called a DRD." Giles gets a very skeptical look on his face. "It looks like an over sized beetle." As he says this, he is injected with the microbes. "Ow! Now that was uncalled for. Show some tact." The DRD moves on towards Tara. It injects the microbes only seconds before Willow kicks it away. "Don't inject anything into my sweetie," she says with a mixture of anger and motherly love. Crichton just smiles. "Don't worry. They just let you understand other languages." The DRD slowly recovers and makes it way around the room injecting the microbes with minor protests. Giles walks over to Buffy and Crichton and starts to get all huffy. "Now that that is all over with, could someone please tell me what the bloody hell is going on?! Where did these…people…come from?" "It's a long story," Aeryn says. "Well we have lots of time," says Giles. Crichton hops up on the table. "Gather round boys and girls it's story time." Xander leans over to Willow and whispers, "He stole my line." Willow giggles at this but quickly stifles as Crichton starts the tale.   
We were headed for a commerce planet. We had just gotten back to Moya and needed more supplies. As we passed a small star system, we got a distress call. We of course set out to see if we could help. When we arrived, we found a Leviathan transport pod under attack by a Peacekeeper command cruiser. Talon fired a warning shot across the bow of the PK ship. The Cruiser then contacted us. It turns out that Scorpius was in command." Anya interrupted him. "Who is this Scorpius you always talk about?" Aeryn gets an aggravated look on her face. "I thought that we covered this on the way over here." "We did," Anya says. "But I still don't understand." "To be blunt," Crichton said, "He is a power hungry Peacekeeper scientist who is determined to harness the power of wormholes as a weapon. He is a half-breed. He is part Scarran and part Sebacean. He will stop at nothing to get his slimy little hands on the wormhole technology in my head."   
Giles takes off his glasses and starts to clean them. This is a true sign that he is worried. He stops cleaning and turns to Crichton. "If what you are saying is true, than we are in grave danger. This Scorpius sound rather dangerous and formidable. We should get some rest and get back to this in the morning. It will be Saturday so most of you won't have a problem with it." He gets various nods and other forms of agreement from around the room. The only people that aren't happy with it are the Moya crew.   
"Why tomorrow," asks Aeryn. "Why not now. You have a dangerous creature with strength and technology far surpassing your own, and you want to take a nap? What is wrong with you people?" At those words Xander perks up. "We have an overwhelming death wish." Aeryn just gives him a questioning look and sits back down. Giles gives Xander a stern look and then turns back to the whole group. "It would do us no good to just run out into a battle with an enemy we know nothing about and have no idea how to defeat. Plus we can think better if we are rested." Crichton hops of the table and raises his hand. "Question Jeevs. Where are we going to sleep? I mean we can't use the transport pod. It's a wreck. We need to repair it." Giles once more removes his glasses and rubes the bridge of his nose. "Alright. I suppose that you could stay here in the shop. I have only one request." Crichton gives him a cheesy smile. "Name it." "Don't touch any thing out here. You could blow up the whole block." To this Aeryn raises an eyebrow. "There aren't any dangerous chemicals in here. At least none that I can see." Giles rolls his eyes. "Why do people always assume I mean chemicals? We have many strong spells and potions here. If you accidentally mix the wrong two or break a seal, we could b3e in for big trouble."   
Just as those last words exit his mouth, an explosion is heard from the back of the room. D'Argo is now blue and furry. He turns toward Crichton. "If I hear so much as a giggle, I will frelling kill you right here and now." Crichton is holding back as best he can. "Now why (snicker) would I (snicker) laugh at you?" D'Argo simply growls at him. Giles has a rather tired and yet amused look on his face. "That's why I told you not to touch anything." He turns toward Willow. "Could you please help him get back to normal? We can continue with our work in the morning."   
With those words, the Scoobies and the Moya crew set about in their various chores. John and Aeryn are working with Giles to set up some cots. Buffy and Dawn leave to go home for the night. Anya is pulling Xander towards the door mumbling something about how she hopes that aliens wont interfere with their sex life. Willow and Tara are trying to make D'Argo sit still so they can reverse the spell. D'Argo just mumbles something about being called fluffy for the rest of his life.  
  
What does Scorpius plan to do on Earth? Will everyone get along? Will they end up having to shave D'Argo? These Questions and more will be answered in When Scorpions Strike Part 3: Hello Scorpi.   



	3. Hello Scorpi

When Scorpions Strike  
  
Part 3  
  
Hello Scorpi  
  
Hello once more. It's been awhile. I'm sorry about the delay. At this point, I think that you should be expecting maybe one chapter a month. I know that it is a long while to wait, but it will be worth it. I wasn't sure how to do this chapter, so don't get all uppity if it isn't up to par with the rest. I just feel obligated to keep the story going. As always I don't own Buffy or Farscape. I wish I did, because I would be filthy stinken rich. Then I would pay people to take my enemies and have them "disappear". Well.let's get on with it.  
  
It was about eight forty seven in the morning when Crichton woke up. He was sleeping in a cot next to D'Argo. They shaved him before he went to bed. At one point, they had to hold D'Argo back so he wouldn't kill Xander for making a remark about how he looked like a Pokemon. He was still blue, but he at least looked like himself. Chrichton slowly got out of the cot and stretched his back. He yawned softly as he walked over to the coffee machine. He slowly poured himself a cup and drank. He smiled to himself. "Must have been awhile since you've had a decent cup of coffee," a voice commented from behind him. John turned around to find Giles standing in the doorway to the training room. "Or any coffee," John replied. He walked over to the couch they kept there and sat down. Giles slowly walked over and joined him. Giles took off his glasses and started to clean them. "I can't even begin to imagine the sights you must have seen. What I wouldn't give to have seen those sights." John looked at him like he had just grown a third eye. Of course with all he had been through these last three Cycles, it wouldn't surprise him that much. "I don't think you would have liked some of the things I've seen. Have you ever had a psychotic freak of nature torture you just for what information you might or might not hold in your mind?" Crichton asked the Watcher. "Actually yes," replied Giles. "It certainly isn't a time of fun and laughs." Crichton chuckled at the comment. "No it ain't."  
  
They stopped talking when they heard D'Argo waking up. "You didn't by any chance find a way to get him back to normal did you?" Crichton asked. "Well."Giles said hesitantly. "We might be able to do it. The only problem is that the spell is made for use on humans and demons. We don't know how it would affect a. What is D'Argo anyway?" Crichton grinned a little. "He's a Luxon. They are nothing if not tough. He can take it." "I have no doubt that he is a formidable warrior," Giles said. "But that is not the point. The major issue is that magick is dangerous if it is not used properly. It could kill him."  
  
That statement worried John. He didn't know anything about magick, at least not real magick. He knew that D'Argo would want to be normal again. Well, at least as normal as D'Argo could get. D'Argo walked over to John and Giles sluggishly. He grunted at them as he grabbed a cup of coffee. He sipped the dark liquid and quickly spat it back out onto the floor. "What the frell is this dren?" he asked bitterly. Crichton couldn't help but laugh. "It's coffee D'Argo. I could have sworn I told you about it." D'Argo looks down at the cup with a look of disgust on his face. He quickly pours the rest in the garbage and walks back over to the two humans on the couch. "Yes you did tell me about this coffee. But you said it was good."  
  
Crichton was about to give another comment when the door opened and Aeryn walked in. She immediately walked over to Giles and Chrichton, grabbed them by the arms, and dragged them out into the main room. Aeryn shoved them towards a pair of chairs and said, "Sit now." They did as they were told. Crichton did so because he knew her. Giles did it because he feared her. Willow and Tara were likewise sitting at the table. Chiana sat by them. "Could you tell me why the frell you dragged me out of bed this early?" she asked Aeryn. Aeryn glares at her. "Simple. We came here so we could find a way of stopping Scorpius and then getting back to Moya. Now I don't want to waste any more time on the backwards planet that I have to." That last part caught Crichtons' attention. "Excuse me? I'll have you know that I grew up on this planet. And you wound me when you say that." "Shut up Crichton. I don't have time for your stupid human antics. We have to come up with a plan." John felt the anger in her voice but decided that he should wait till they were alone before he pursued that conversation.  
  
At that moment Buffy walked in with Dawn, Xander, and Anya. Buffy stood in the door way for a second and looked over the Magick Box. She saw how on edge everyone was. "Well," she said, "Are we just gona sit here, or are we gona go kick some ugly alien booty?" John let out a small chuckle. "You have no idea how on target you are with that comment," he said. Aeryn casts an evil looking glare at him and he quickly shuts his mouth.  
  
The whole group sat down at the main table. Aeryn spoke first. "All right. We have told you all the most important information about Scorpius already. You know that he is stronger than any human or sebacean." Buffy perked up at that. "I could beat him," she said with an almost perky tone. "I'm sure," Aeryn replied. "Now back to what I was saying. He is dangerous. I propose that we go out in groups of three. That way we cover more ground. Crichton, Chiana and myself will accompany one team each." D'Argo stood up. "And why the frell don't I go?" he said with much fury. "Simple," Aeryn said. "First off, they are groups of three. There are eleven of us. Which means two have to stay here with the child," "Hey!" Dawn said. Aeryn just ignored her. "I suggest that the watcher stay so that he can find a way to get us off this backwards planet. Second of all, you are the only one that couldn't pass as a human. Chiana could just wear a hood and no one would notice. Not only that, but you are still blue." Xander couldn't help himself. "And what a fetching color that is for you, it really brings out your eyes." D'Argo just growled at him. "Sorry," Xander said quickly. "Now let's get going," Aeryn said.  
  
The teams were as such. Xander, Anya, and Chiana on one team, Willow, Tara, and Aeryn on another team, and then Spike, Buffy and Crichton on another.  
  
Now since they are all going to go to different places, I say we leave them to travel for a bit. As the white hats started to search the city, a mugging is taking place in an ally. It's still early, and not many people are out.  
  
"Give me ya damn purse lady, before I have to gut you!" the mugger says. He has a knife against her left cheek. The woman is crying as she slowly hands the purse over to the man. A shadow covers the ally now. The mugger stares at the source. "Now that wouldn't be nice of you now would it," says the newcomer in a vaguely British sounding accent. "If I were you, I'd put down the blade, and leave." The mugger just laughs it off. "And just what are you gona do about it chump?" The new comer quickly runs up to the mugger with impressive speed and grabs him by the throat. The newcomer is dressed in all black leather looking garment. He was about average height. His face seemed almost human, but was very pale and deformed. H e looked somewhat like a vampire. "Oh wouldn't you like to know," he said. He quickly throws the mugger across the ally and into a wall. The mugger leaves a hole in the brick where he hit. The woman stares at the stranger in shock. "W-who are you?" she stammers out. The stranger turns to her and grins. His teeth are jagged and pointy. "They call me, Scorpius." He then snaps her neck. "Not that it will do you any good to know."  
  
Why is Scorpius helping people, only to kill them? Will D'Argo ever be back to normal (or at least as normal as he can get)? Are the crew of Moya ever going to get back home? Will Buffy have to fight Scorpius? Will I ever get a life and move on to more important things? Unfortunately, not all of the questions will be answered in When Scorpions Strike Part 4: Come Out Come Out Where Ever You Are. 


End file.
